Where are All the Tailors?
By Sir Percival Blakeney, Bart.
Edited by Lady Katherine Trottier

I was appalled as I watched  <i> Star Wars: The Phantom Menace 
</i>  that the Jedi knights were so shabbily dressed! Zounds! 
Don't they have any tailors in the Trade Federation? Instead, 
they are forced to wander about in their dressing gowns! I also 
noticed a disgraceful lack of cravats and lace! Get these men 
some frou-frou! And, begad, their hair was atrocious! No proper 
Englishman would ever be seen in such a state! Or, with such a 
stubble on his chin! Sink me!

I must concede that these Jedi *do* wield their blades rather 
well, but that is no excuse for such undistinguished dress! Not 
even Citizen Shovelin' was so poorly clad as these men are!

That Jo-Jo fellow was completely lacking in manners and who 
could possibly understand a word he said with that demmed accent 
of his?! I kept wishing that he *could* be sent to the Planet 
Core!

What about that poor fellow with the awful facial blemish, you 
ask? Well . . . he was just a demmed excitable puppy, wasn't 
he!? Ready to make a pincushion out of anyone who happened to 
come along! Reminds me of that awfully of that young Vicomte de 
Tournay at the Fisherman's Rest! Lightsabers are terribly hard 
on the wardrobe, aren't they! Poking holes and slicing off whole 
chunks and with one's hand still inside! Demmed bad form, if you 
ask me!

So, if any of you Jedi chaps should happen by Richmond in any of 
your travels, PLEASE stop by and I'll arrange a meeting for you 
with my tailor! He'll get you all set up with a PROPER wardrobe! 
Thank you!


Come visit Lady Katherine's Sitting Room at
http://www.gurlpages.com/obsess/ladykatherine/index.html

"And I, for one, am no longer content to sit back on my pampered 
British ass and do nothing!"
-Sir Percy Blakeney

"You have witchcraft in your lips, Kate...."
-Henry V